Agnosis Skeptikos

The introspective wanderings of a one-time Christian turned agnostic

Pronouncements of Doom

Posted by agnosis on June 27, 2007

Apparently, the Christian mission to share the Gospel gives them the right to toss tact to the wind. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard a Christian tell someone point-blank that they’re going to hell. Talk about a great way to shut someone down and turn them off to your message immediately. Frankly, it’s disgusting how rude and obnoxious most Christians are as they go about trying to ‘convert’ others to their way of thinking. I don’t understand why they think that such an approach might work, yet the persistence of this technique indicates that Christians think such in-your-face tactics should not only work but that the truth of their message as conveyed by this approach should be blatantly self-evident to whoever their victim is that day. I guess it shouldn’t be surprising, then, that they are completely blind to the fact that the interpersonal doors of communication get slammed right in their face and anything else that’s said henceforth from such a dire pronouncement is ignored and disregarded as the rantings of a lunatic. Who wants to be a Christian when faced with that kind of antagonism and hostility? I sure don’t.


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False Face

Posted by agnosis on June 20, 2007

I find myself in a difficult and uncomfortable position. I keep my newfound agnostic beliefs a secret from everyone but myself. My wife is a Christian, as is nearly my entire family and the vast majority of my friends. This isn’t a bad thing, mind you – it is simply a product of the way I grew up. I love my wife, my family, my friends, and despite having left my own Christian faith behind, I cannot fault them for their continued devotion to their faith. I refuse to be one of those harbors spite and malice to anyone who holds to religious beliefs. I’ve been the focus of such individuals, and I fail to see how such animosities serve any good end.

But neither can I reveal myself as agnostic. None who know me would understand, least of all my wife, who would likely feel hurt and betrayed by my lack of belief. I do not mind “living a lie,” as the phrase goes, for her sake. But the discomfort arrives when it comes to thing having to do with this faith I no longer embrace. I have no interest in going to church, in praying or reading my Bible, or talking about religious issues. All such things seem like such a waste of time to me now – but for the sake of appearances I must continue to do them so as not to cast any question on myself.

I’d like to be able to talk to a few trusted friends about this, but I know that to do so would only net me a series of lectures, many disappointed looks, shock and surprise, sympathy and pity, perhaps, and more reactions that I have no desire to face and deal with. Putting on a facade is much easier and less hassle all around, believe me. So far, there isn’t as much internal tension as I expected. I’m ok living life like this. I expect one of these days the truth will come out, probably when I least expect and probably exactly when I don’t want it to, but until then, I’ll continue to pretend Christianity for the sake of my family and friends (and for my own sanity), but practice living life in a way that I need no Christian faith to accomplish. From what I’ve seen, you don’t need to be a Christian to live a good life. It doesn’t even really seem to help all that much.

But that’s an entry for another time.

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Agnostic. I think.

Posted by agnosis on June 20, 2007

I recently determined that I’m agnostic – at least that’s the best self-definition for my current belief system I can come up with. I certainly wouldn’t say that I’m an atheist. You still can’t convince me that the universe came together through some grand, cosmic accident. I just tend to think now that whatever intelligent being was the cause of all this has since lost interest and moved on – or died – and left the universe to while away on its own. I also can’t really say I subscribe to the Christian faith I was raised under for so many years, the one that I once immersed myself in and tried to find some sort of life meaning from. Neither it nor any other belief system that worships a deity of any kind really holds up in my view anymore.

As I said I was raised Christian, embracing that faith myself at a young age and living it out for years. But as I’ve grown up and entered adulthood, there are a lot of things about Christianity that no longer add up, things that run counter to logic and common sense and observable fact. This blog will, I hope, be a catalogue of some of my thoughts and explorations about why I feel like Christianity may, in fact, be less than the powerful faith that it claims to be. I hope that those of you reading here will follow along and interact with me as I elaborate on some of these thoughts.

Of course, I don’t necessarily plan to stick exclusively to topics of agnosticism and Christianity and what-not. Part of my interest in blogging anonymously here is to be able to write about topics that aren’t necessarily acceptable in the social circles in which I live. Some of those may find exposure here, as well. We’ll just have to see how things go.

So, here’s to a new beginning and future growth…

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